Reacquire stolen loot from your players with Wizards of the Coast’s latest stat block for D&D 5e; the Greenerton Agent
Are you tired of pesky adventurers stealing your hard earned magic items? Perhaps your precious magical cards from your deck of many things have been stolen from your evil citadel? Maybe the heirlooms from your great-great-great granddaddy lich’s tomb have been pilfered? Or did someone take your unholy book of mass destruction from its chamber in the temple of Bhaal? If so, then no need to fear, Greenertons can help you with their completely legal and legitimate reacquisition services available on any plane of existence.
They can send their agents using their vast information network to find any adventurer, anywhere, to reacquire your stolen goods.
Used by legitimate businesses like the Iron Throne and the Zhentarim, you can be assured of the best quality reacquisition services available in all the planes (yes, their agents have an information network spanning all the planes of existence).
So for all you angry DMs, wanting to make consequences for your kleptomaniac players, you can now send Greenerton agents after your players to reacquire the stolen loot with this definitely official, Wizards of the Coast stat block.
Greenerton agent stat block
- Medium humanoid (any race)
- Armour Class: 14 (studded leather armour)
- Hit Points: 64 (10d8 + 20)
- Speed: 30ft
| Str | Dex | Con | Int | Wis | Cha |
| 16 (+3) | 14 (+2) | 16 (+3) | 14 (+2) | 10 (+0) | 12 (+1) |
- Saving Throws: Str (+6), Con (+6),
- Skills: Athletics (+6), Deception (+4) Intimidation (+4), Investigation (+5), Perception (+3), Persuasion (+4), Sleight of Hand (+5)
- Senses: Passive Perception 13
- Languages: Any one language (usually common)
- Challenge: 2 (450 XP) Proficiency Bonus +3
Pack Tactics: The Greenerton agent has advantage on an attack roll against a creature if at least one of the agent’s allies is within 5 feet of the creature and the ally isn’t incapacitated.
Foot in the door: Greenerton agents are experts at reacquiring goods and have advantage on all checks needed to enter a building.
Eyes of a hawk: Nothing gets past the watchful eyes of a Greenerton agent. They have advantage on all investigation and perception checks.
Baleful glare: It’s unknown whether Greenerton agents are imbued with magical optics or whether their years of training includes a module on glaring their targets into submission. Either way, their very glare is enough to intimidate most people into submission. A Greenerton Agent can use an action to use their baleful glare. Choose one target who must make a constitution saving throw (DC 16) or be charmed by the Greenerton agent. Harming the charmed target will cause the charmed effect to end and the saving throw can be retaken every time the Greenerton Agent makes a new investigation check within 60ft of the target.
ACTIONS
Multiattack: The Greenerton Agent makes three melee attacks.
Mace: Melee Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 7 (1d6 + 3) bludgeoning damage.
Heavy crossbow: Ranged Weapon Attack: +6 to hit, range 100/400 ft., one target. Hit: 8 (1d10 + 3) piercing damage.
Disclaimer: This article is satire and the stat block above is my own creation and has not been created by Wizards of the Coast.